


Just a Song

by Butterfly_girl



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003), Battlestar Galactica - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Major Character Injury, Non-Canon Relationship, Original Character(s), Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:28:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23651605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterfly_girl/pseuds/Butterfly_girl
Summary: Snippets of Felix Gaeta and Eliana Walker's relationship throughout the years
Relationships: Felix Gaeta/Original Female Character
Kudos: 3





	Just a Song

**Author's Note:**

> My original plan was to put all these snippets together to make one cohesive story but I've been writing this on and off for about 3 years and figured it was about time I actually posted some of it.
> 
> Each chapter will focus on a moment in their relationship- good and bad. They won't be in order, although I might eventually organise them so that they are.
> 
> This is also completely self-indulgent writing...
> 
> Tags will be updated as more chapters are added.

It hurt to see him lying there like that, his eyes staring unfocused at the ceiling, not even registering her presence. Though she wasn’t sure what she would have said even if he’d noticed she was there. There were no words that could fix this, no actions that could make this better. 

There was no doubt about it: the man she’d always thought of as being able to deal with anything the universe threw his way was completely broken. The physical damage was painfully clear to anyone who stepped into the room- the heavily bandaged stump that took the place of his lower leg undeniable evidence of how badly wrong this had all gone. But she knew he’d be able to deal with that. Not immediately, perhaps, but eventually. It was the emotional damage that she was worried about- not as obvious, perhaps, to those who didn’t know him as well. But she was not just anyone. She liked to think she knew him better than anyone, and to her the emotional damage was just as evident as the physical, if not more so. The flashes of pain and anger and complete despair that occasionally flitted across his face caused those beautiful brown eyes she’d always loved to harden and his soft, gentle features to twist into expressions she didn’t recognise. Not on his face, anyway. 

And then there was the singing. Always the same soft, haunting melody, the notes effortlessly escaping through dry, cracked lips to find their place within the otherwise eerie silence of the room. She’d always found it comforting to hear him sing, sometimes lingering beside him a few moments longer than necessary to savour the almost inaudible humming that often snuck out when he was working. Nobody else would have heard it- it was too quiet for that. But she knew to listen out for it, a secret whisper he was sharing only with her. A reminder of happier times for the two of them.

This was different though. There was no comfort in his song anymore. Only sadness- sadness tinged with something more. Something worse. Something that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, bubbling just below the surface and threatening to explode outwards at any second. She wanted to press her hands against her ears and block out the sound. But she couldn’t. She _wouldn’t_. He deserved to be heard, now more than ever. And she knew she had to be the one to listen. 

“Eliana?”

The sound caused her breath to catch at the back of her throat and she stepped towards the bed, her legs trembling with uncertainty. His eyes remained fixed on the ceiling and, for a moment, she wondered whether she’d imagined him speak. It had been so long since she’d last heard him say her name that it sounded somehow familiar and strangely unfamiliar at the same time.

“El…” 

He uttered her name again, his head turning to face her this time. She bit her lower lip nervously as she moved closer, reaching up to brush a loose lock of dark blonde hair out of her eyes. It was the first time she’d dared get this close to him and she almost wished she’d kept her distance. He looked utterly exhausted, his eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot as he gazed towards her. He was pale too, though his cheeks were stained with the flush of a fever that wasn’t showing any signs of retreating.

“Felix,” she said eventually, her voice cracking with an emotion she hadn’t realised she’d been holding in. “You were singing,” she continued when he didn’t reply. “I didn’t recognise the song…”

She allowed her hand to drift towards his face, lingering so close to the surface of his skin that she could feel the heat emanating out of it. His face was coated with a sheen of shimmering sweat that had caused his hair to cling to cling to his forehead and she found herself gently smoothing a few damp curls back out of his face. 

He was so hot that it scared her, his entire body radiating so much heat that she half expected the thin cotton bedsheet that was loosely draped over his lower body to burst into flames. Doc Cottle had warned her that the infection had taken hold long before The Demetrius had reached Galactica but she’d somehow managed to brush away his warning, convincing herself that Felix was too strong to let something as simple as an infection beat him. But seeing him now, his breath quivering in short, quick gasps each time he inhaled, his remaining limbs lying limp and lifeless, she realised that this was more than just a little infection. He could die. He _would_ die if the antibiotics didn’t start working soon.

“Oh…” She let out a tiny sob before she could stop herself, her hand snapping back and searching for her mouth where it pressed firmly against her lips in an attempt to prevent any further sound from escaping. She felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes and blinked them back hurriedly. Now was not the time to let her emotions get the better of her. She needed to be strong. Felix needed her to be strong.

“My mother used to sing it. Back on Caprica.”

“Sorry?” She sniffed, sweeping a single stray tear away from where it had pooled at the corner of her upper lip, its salty dampness already stinging her skin. His voice had taken her by surprise, the words raspy and heavy as though they’d got stuck somewhere in his chest and he was having to force them into existence. She leant forwards, rubbing the back of her hand across her eyes to mop up the moisture that clung to her eyelashes, the only remaining sign- she hoped- of the emotion she wanted so badly to hide from him.

“The song.” Felix swallowed, his forehead furrowed with the effort of trying to speak. “The one I was singing.” He reached out an arm, his fingers trembling as he tucked a loose wave of hair behind her ear, his fingertips rough and calloused as they brushed against her earlobe. “I remember my mother singing it when I was a kid.”

She frowned instinctively before quickly correcting herself. She’d never heard him mention his mother- or any family at all for that matter. In all the years they’d known each other, he’d steered clear of any conversation that related to family, abruptly changing the subject whenever she’d even hinted at it, his eyes losing their glow and his mouth hardening into a firm line that made it very clear family wasn’t something he wanted to discuss. And in the end she’d decided it wasn’t worth it. If he didn’t want to talk about it, who was she to try to force the matter? People dealt with grief in different ways: some- like her- liked to talk about those they’d lost at any opportunity- sharing memories as a way to bring them back, if only for a few moments; others- like Felix, she supposed- preferred to keep the past in the past. And although she didn’t understand it, she was willing to go with it. She’d have been willing to do anything for him. She still _was_ willing, if only he would let her.

“It’s pretty,” she responded, smiling softly in spite of herself as she savoured the sensation of his fingers as they gently caressed the sensitive skin of her ear. 

“Yeah. It...” Felix paused, his eyes meeting hers for the first time as he let a single finger trace the silvery tear track down her cheek, the heat of his skin causing the still salty pathway to prickle as though hit by a tiny current of electricity. “It helps.” He swallowed again, his forehead furrowed in pain as he closed his eyes and leant back against the pillow, his hand still resting against her cheek.

It had been so long since he’d touched her like this, the lightness of it barely skimming the surface of her skin and yet more than enough to make every muscle in her body tremble with excitement. She wanted to close her eyes and lean into his touch, to wrap her arms around his neck and squeeze her cheek against his, letting her skin cool his fever. She wanted to let her fingers intertwine with the thick curls at the back of his neck, gently tugging on them as she brought their bodies closer together. She wanted to soak up his familiar sweetness as she let her lips dust against his in a delicate butterfly of a kiss.

But it wasn’t time for that. Not now. Not here.

“Felix...” she murmured, reaching up to take his hand, which still hung in mid air near her face.

“I know,” he replied, instinctively understanding the unspoken words that passed between them. 

She smiled gently, her fingers locking together with his in a familiar grip. It was comforting to know that, however hard things got, however much the universe twisted and distorted into something cruel and unrecognisable, there were some things that never changed.

No, now wasn’t the time to try to rebuild their relationship. But, if the softness of Felix’s expression as he gazed at her was anything to go by, that time would come. And, no matter the challenges that faced them- and there would be challenges, she wasn’t naive enough not to realise that- she was ready for them. If it meant they could be together, she was ready to deal with anything...

**Author's Note:**

> All comments and kudos are very much appreciated. I'm needy for feedback so please indulge me if you enjoyed this!


End file.
